Case 6 - Politicians

Own up, who voted for this lot?

Problem - The public do not like you or trust politicians (represented above). There is a growing sense that politicians, regardless of political affiliation, are all the same - posh, public-school-educated, party-line-toeing puppets (Enough of that, please - Ed), totally disconnected to the masses in more ways than one. No-one cares what they have to say or what they're trying to do as they're only interested in feathering their own nests and engaging in sordid sexual encounters that the public would rather not know about or, worst case scenario, suffer the horror of conjuring up a mental image of. The challenge is to make politicians more appealing to the public and thereby create interest in politics as a whole.

Solution - The solution is thus:

1: When asked a direct question, politicians should provide a direct answer. Do not follow Ed Miliband's example (below).

2: Do away with the House of Lords. No need for reform, just turn the central heating off and wait for nature to run its course. 

3:  Politicians should not try to become something they are not. David Cameron's 'Call me Dave' policy rightly flopped. The public does not want to call him Dave. They want (or at least some of them) a Leader. The fact that Mr Cameron is a Posh Toff is a plus point, not a negative. The country is not looking for a PM to have a pint with, thank you very much. Although, refraining from further increasing tax on booze would go down a charm. Use Boris 'BoJo' Johnson as a yardstick. London voted for him because of, not in spite of, his better-than-you attitude and use of language and Latin. Stop dancing, playing sports, getting down with the kids, drinking alcohol, going to Greggs (remember that?) and holding babies. 

4: Stop attacking other Parties and focus on the main issue. All this sniping and 'they did this when in office' nonsense is boring. Maggie Thatcher is gone. So is Tony Blair. And even Gordon Brown. Let it go. Focus should be on what each Party has to offer now. 

5: Stop with the sex scandals. Just gross. 

6: No more career politicians. As a general rule of thumb, anyone who has always wanted to become a politician should never be allowed to become one. 

7: Feel free to punch people who throw eggs. F*ck those guys. 

8: Tell the truth. It helps. 

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