Case 9 - Hipsters

Hipsters. I hate you all.

Problem - Every generation has their Cool Kids, the dedicated followers of fashion; wearing the right clothes, listening to the right music and using the same lingo. By and large these cliques pass by after a while having not really bothered the rest of society. Then came the Hipsters. Everyone hates Hipsters. This is how Hipsters have evolved (video below). How do we solve this?

Solution - Modesty, restraint and a backhand to the face, if required. Here's a few tips to make the average Hipster less offensive and rage-inducing.

1: Hipsters should recognise that they are not unique. Their aversion to 'the mainstream' is based in good intentions, rejecting globalisation and global brands. But the irony - the ultimate irony - is that there push for No Logo revolution has seen them complete a 360 by paying over the odds for the Hipster uniform. Stupid glasses. Stupid low cut T-shirts. Stupid skinny jeans. Stupid trainers. All available at every High Street menswear shop. Also, stop loitering in Starbucks. Starbucks of all places! You can't be a bloody Hipster and buy Starbucks, dipsh*t!

2: As above: put the chest hair away. You look like a knob. If you don't have a problem with you eye sight, stop wearing glasses. Etc.

3: Recognise the difference between Retro and Faux Retro. Also, that no-one gives a damn about your commitment to the retro-look, which we've already established has been bought from a Swanky Retro store that's charged you £100 for an old Adidas zip up. You're an idiot.

4: Stop with Instagram. For the love of God stop.

5: Stop with your crappy blogs. No-one cares what you have to say. (Move on quickly, please - Ed)

6: Hipsters. Cut the hippy b*llshit. Seriously. The way you learned tosspots act it's like the 60s and 70s never happened. What you do has been done before. Done to death. So stop with the self-righteous Fighting the Man b*llocks. You've got a trust fund and you're from the Home Counties. Get a job.

7: Watch this video and learn.

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