James Corden - currently endorsing everything in the world |
1 - Lesbian Vampire Killers - the worst film ever made. Ever.
2 - The Horne & Corden sketch show - the worst sketch show ever made.
3 - The Brits 2013 - the worst awards show ever presented.
4 - 600 adverts - and counting.
5 - A League of Their Own. Rip-off sports panel show.
6 - The History Boys - fair play, pretty decent.
Corden is seriously trying the British public's patience by stretching himself thinner than a wafer thin mint. Not only does he feature in nearly every TV show on television he's now in almost every bloody advert, too! He needs some good PR to save his career before it's too late and he goes the way of Horne (What's he up to nowadays? Is he still alive?).
Solution - All is not lost for Corden. Here's how he can get back to those G&S highs.
1 - Try turning down a job offer. Anything. When his agent calls and says "James, I've been asked if you're free to..." he should try letting him finish before screaming "Yes! I'll do it. I'll take their money, let them have my soul and integrity, I have no need for them now." It might be good for him to sod off for a while. Try not being on TV for a day. Then take it from there.
2 - Stop with that stupid laugh. It's dumb. If it weren't for Jimmy Carr's pathetic guffaw he would have the worst laugh in comedy. People will feel less inclined to punch him in his fat face if he got a better laugh.
3 - Lose some weight. I'm not being mean to Corden here. The British public like their celebs thin and trim, by and large (no pun intended). Perhaps he could do a Walliams - raise loads of wonga for charity as a way of making the public forget how he's such a one-trick 'look at me, I'm a bit camp' pony.
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