Case 4 - Rafa Benitez

Problem - Interim Chelsea manager Rafa Benitez (above) has a number of work-related problems. The fans really don't like him, refusing to forgive comments made during his time at the helm of Liverpool, and also out of respect to the previous incumbent, Roberto Di Matteo, who they still hold closely to their collective bosom. The players also don't like him, it would seem, with daily bust-ups with some of the club's top earners splashed across the back pages. Worse still, Chelsea currently sit in fourth place in the League, roughly 126 points behind leaders Manchester United. It's fair to say they've had better seasons. Take last season, for example, when they won the Champions League. Rafa needs respect and credibility and fast.

Solution - Tell it like it is. Is John Terry being difficult? Tell everyone and spare no details. John Terry, while a talented footballer, is practically sub-human, with the morals of Charlie Sheen during his 'Dark Episode'. Everyone knows it. Next time he has a disagreement with JT he should use this fact to his advantage.

He could say to the press, for example: "Yeah, John Terry started mouthing off again at me today. I told him that I didn't give a toss what he thought, bearing in mind that he boinked his teammate's missus behind his back, and that he's not the player he was three or four years ago. I also reminded him that I won the Champions League as a manager and that he, on the other hand, cost his team the same trophy by failing to score what was a penalty shoot-out winning penalty against Man Utd of all teams. Choke much? And I also told him people like him even less than me and my stupid goatee. And that I'm sticking with David Luiz, even though he's dodgier than my stupid goatee. And then I told him he's a tw*t."

People - including Chelsea fans - would find it very difficult to argue against the above. So Rafa, don't get bullied by the Club and this whole interim situation. If results keep going badly and the players keep giving you grief, hang them out to dry. Start with John Terry. And if that doesn't have the desired effect remember that you've also got Ashley Cole to fall back on. Now there's a loathsome dumbass.


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